The Pain of Rejection

As far as human emotions are concerned, there is probably none that hurt more than to feel the sting of rejection. Anyone that has ever had this experience can relate to how devastated this makes you feel.

Definition of Rejection

According to the Webster Dictionary, rejection is defined in these terms: “To discard or throw out as worthless, useless or substandard; to deny acceptance, care, love, etc. to someone; a rejected thing or person.”

When reeling from these emotions, one usually sinks into depression and loneliness. When all these feelings hit, you are left feeling helpless as well. These four things (rejection, depression, loneliness and helplessness) are so powerful and overwhelming that there seems to be no way to find any joy in life, but if this is you, you need to know that there is a way out.

Can you identify with these scenarios when feeling rejected?

We are going to look at several scenarios, all different circumstances but all leaving one feeling rejected and alone. These feelings can begin early in life when we are the last one chosen to be on a team or when no one wants to walk home from school with us. They can follow us through life until the day we find ourselves in old age and alone. Loneliness is one of the most researched topics in our modern world. It need not be. There is hope for something more.

Bullying has always been a problem for young people in school. But today it has become much worse because of all the social media they are all involved with. To be rejected from the “popular crowd” and not having anyone to hang out with is a big deal to kids. They know everyone else is together having a good time and they are left home alone. It has become really easy to write ugly comments when you don’t need to say it face to face. If you are a parent and this is happening to your child, you must intervene. Sadly, it seems many students don’t tell their parents and one day they wake up to the unbelievable. Today we find that more and more young teens are committing suicide. This is a very real and very serious situation. Parents! you must make sure you know exactly what is going on in your child’s life.

You may be reading this as a rejected marriage partner. Many times you believe you have a great marriage and then you are blind-sighted by a cheating spouse. First comes shock, like a dagger in the heart, and then anger. How could he/she do this to you… and why? Other times it may be the arrival of divorce papers that shake you to the core. Against your wishes and wildest dreams, you have been rejected! There is deep pain, many tears, arguments and then finality. Eventually the day comes that you walk into your home and the feeling of loneliness sweeps over you… and you wonder if you will ever find happiness again.

The deep pain that comes from loosing your life’s partner is similar to dropping a beautiful china plate and seeing it broken into many irreparable pieces. You know nothing will ever be the same again. Although death is going to come to everyone, you are never prepared and everything you have always known is shattered – like the plate.

If you have never had children or if you are an empty nester and your children have moved out and begun their own lives, you are left all alone. Friends and family may call you or stop by, but at the end of the day when the lights are turned out you go to sleep alone. In the morning, as you awake, there is no one there to say good morning to; and you face the reality that you are alone and lonely.

What can you do to find hope and purpose again?

We have identified the problem – circumstances of life leaving us feeling sad, rejected and lonely. Now what can we do to find hope and purpose again? How can we change the direction of our lives and once again feel joy? Yes, there is advice and counsel that can help us. There are organizations or charities we can join to find companionship and friendship. These are all good, but there is something more.

The following story may be helpful to everyone. One day a mother was watching out the window for her son to return home from elementary school. She felt so bad for him because as she saw all the other children walking home together in groups, her son was always walking home alone. She had fresh baked cookies waiting for him to help him feel more special. On this particular occasion, it was Valentine’s Day. The night before she had helped him make out his cards for his classmates and she had high hopes he had received some. When he came in the door, she asked him if he had received any valentines and he said, “No.” Then a huge smile came across his face as he said, “but I didn’t forget anyone… no not one.”

This little child found joy in giving to everyone. He didn’t worry about being left out; his concern was to make others happy… everyone. There was one who lived centuries ago that found himself despised and rejected. He hung on the cross of crucifixion – all alone. He understands what you are feeling. Though killed because of who he was, he wants to give you the perfect gift. His name is Jesus and his gift to you is salvation and an eternity of complete love and acceptance in a beautiful place called heaven. He was then and is now, reality. You can learn all about him in the Bible by reading Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. When you find you believe in him and follow his teachings, you will never be alone again.

If you would like to correspond or talk with someone about this, please contact us at Joy of Hope. May God bless you!